the unknowable transforming point 401/ 405

433 little poems
fictive autobiographical gazing
through the piano looking glass

A lift

Lento sospirando intermission
serene sunny lane early friday’s in summer
no need to walk with her
guess she could coffee quietly in full light awareness
train an experienced eye to what he was binary thinking
meanwhile back
elegant cream beige and black car
looked beyond a chance encounter
make contact departmentally for a little request
someone can’t refuse
boundaries comply with suspicion
can I give you a lift
I’m going your way #
oh ok
oh god did I just say yes #
what is ficuc going on this inch now worming it’s way
take miles of anaphylaxis
effortless collision
numb and motionless
with electrofire invasion
my brain hurt
my thoughts dissolve
what the ficfuc was I doing in this car
such a load of ballards
power car
power driven
power line
power watch
power dress
powerlessness turned
downhill down street at the cross
better the piano you know
never know in the amnesic crack of those days
now sun rhythm shine
bird blue 4’33’ or 11’06”

The lunatic fringe

Stick to point
tumbled and tossed out of moving vehicles
and when I thought I had woken up
seems no one knows my name
I was in the lunatic fringe
seems it goes back along way
meet me
attention pay attention

Next the walk home

The cream beige blond black car with sylph like
passenger la la la la
ride and ride jimmy’s jiving
the city’s everything and
ah ok la la la la backside
jimmy’s driving
retrolental eyes at the back of his head
I didn’t know you were here
hold tight on
cling skinny rib art books
and what am I doing pains
keep breathing
next the walk home
sticking to the outer fiction
inner light a cigarette chill
planning to rock friday frankenstein up to town
stress distress
it all seems clearer no
the vacillating need to unwish my dreaming head
catapults rewind
repeat repeat victimisation
till take it easy before the machine rusts

Fill my void

The father leaves
wish it was me
the oven of volcanic emotional centricity danger
the inner volcano says beyond this point nothing to support you
walking on lava
walking on thin ice
alert alert
repeat repeat
this is real life
walking on a tight rope
trying to fill my void
block what
fill my void not happening to me
what repeat lost importance
what repeat
I wanted my dad
what what chink
fill my void
we were only trying to fill your void
too difficult to span a crevasse and stay unvoid
funny what’s written in someone’s face
rewind in the two way mirror one
disappear the absence craves a substitute
cream beige black car
silence 4’33”
need to fill the void
he too had needs fearful needs
psycho dramatically retrieving a lost child
a lost dream of young sylph mythology
pressing down
her hand pressing down on the frozen ground

Sense of importance

Who’s in the piano room now pressing down her hand
cream beige black car man and a little girl
in the frozen north antartica of 4’33”
so how did we get from there to the chink
or will the chink now be dissolving
to claim a reward for the time
and looking for my father
see him now in the chink
his loss of importance
his need
no no repeat
no temporary fix
would you like a lift
no repeat
I’m going your way
but hey
you seem to have lost your sense of importance
is there anything I can do to help
that’s the ficfuc of it all
eyes at the back of it’s head
eyes in the piano
better not look up
eyes in the back of his head
better not look
repeat repeat
till chink awareness brings it’s unravel and ray of ah
all the lilliana’s and lindy’s cassandra’s
in the piano room hands pressing down
intake breath
and let’s 4’33”
puzzle over puzzle
concert tours and unticked boxes seem clearer now
at least this particular tick of the bird clock
not so fancy
blue clear gimme some more blue sky
in the camera oscura bristol
crow clack and lack of punctuation
to three different birds
the soundscape and significance of the hand pressing down



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